Move to Lead: 5 Unspoken Habits of Truly Influential People (Part 2)

 Introduction: The Silent Language of Leadership

In the first post of this series, "Speak to Lead," we explored the verbal habits that separate influential communicators from the crowd. But words are only half the equation. The other, often more powerful, half is the unspoken language of non-verbal communication. How you move, stand, and gesture can either amplify your message or completely undermine it, often before you have uttered a single word. Think of your non-verbals as the subconscious résumé you present in every interaction; it is being read and evaluated constantly. These skills are not innate traits reserved for a select few; they are deliberate, practical habits. Mastering them is the key to building the kind of presence and authority that commands attention and inspires action.

1. Own the Space Before You Say a Word

An audience forms its first impression of you based on your posture, long before you begin to speak. Truly influential people understand this and project confidence from the moment they enter a room. They move as though they are "on a mission," walking with purpose to their destination, whether it is a podium or a chair. They feel comfortable in their environment, taking the time to look around and connect with the space.

Conversely, a weak posture instantly erodes credibility. There are several common stances to avoid:

• Hands in pockets: This broadcasts nonchalance and causes the shoulders to roll forward, creating a closed-off, low-confidence silhouette.

• Hands on hips: This can be perceived as overbearing or unnecessarily confrontational.

• The "Fig Leaf": Clasping your hands in front of you looks timid and traps your hands, making any attempt to gesture appear awkward and constricted.

To project authority, you must find your strong "base posture." Stand with your feet hip-width apart and let your arms hang relaxed at your sides. This is your neutral position, the confident home base you return to after making a gesture. This strong, open posture is the physical foundation upon which all influential communication is built. As a titan of the stage and screen once observed, this physical presence is a learned skill:

"I remember the great actress Helen Mirren saying one of the most difficult things to learn as an actress is how to walk onto a scene."

2. Speak Volumes with Your Hands

Purposeful hand gestures do more than just add visual interest; they can double how much an audience remembers. The key is to move beyond random, distracting motions and embrace a strategic approach to gesturing. There are three core types of gestures that every leader should master:

• The Give: This is a gesture with palms facing up, used when presenting facts, ideas, or options to your audience. Data shows this is remarkably persuasive: a request made with palms up results in 84% compliance.

• The Show: This involves using your hands to visually describe something, such as profits rising or a process unfolding. The critical element here is congruency, the gesture must perfectly match the message you are delivering.

• The Chop: This is a sharp, downward motion with one or both hands, used to deliver a strong opinion or make a definitive point with conviction.

Crucially, you must never point at your audience. The same study that found 84% compliance for palms-up gestures found that a pointing finger drops compliance to a mere 28%. It is perceived as arrogant and accusatory.

3. Control the Clock, Not Just the Conversation

One of the most counter-intuitive signals of confidence is being unhurried. People with authority demonstrate a command of the temporal environment. They are, in effect, "in charge of time." This is not slowness; it is the physical manifestation of deliberation. Their movements are smooth, not quick and jittery. They take their time to walk to the podium, to look up from their notes, or to formulate an answer to a challenging question.

Someone lacking confidence feels they must be in a hurry. They feel a subconscious pressure to answer right away and to fill every silence. In contrast, a leader will answer in the pace, manner, and tone they choose. This calm control over the conversational rhythm subconsciously signals to everyone else that you are not reacting to pressure, but are instead setting the terms of the engagement. This is not simply a behaviour; it is a disciplined practice leaders cultivate to project unshakeable composure.

4. Stop 'Lie Detecting' and Start Connecting

Pop culture is saturated with myths about body language, particularly when it comes to detecting deception. However, according to analysis from FBI non-verbal communication experts, these ideas are largely unfounded. It is critical to abandon them and embrace the true purpose of understanding non-verbals.

First, and most importantly, there is no single behaviour that is indicative of deception. There is no "Pinocchio effect." A nervous fidget is just as likely to be a sign of anxiety as it is a lie. One of the most pervasive myths - that crossing your arms is a blocking gesture - is, in the clinical term of one expert, "crap." More often than not, it is simply a self-soothing gesture, a "self-hug" that we do for comfort.

The real power of understanding non-verbals lies not in trying to catch people out, but in exercising empathy. It is a tool for connection, for making others feel comfortable and understood. As FBI veteran Joe Navarro articulated in his TEDx talk, our influence is the very essence of our social existence:

"...all we are is the sum total of our influence on others... And what's interesting is that the primary way that we influence each other is through nonverbals."

5. Convey with Conviction, Don't Convince with Anxiety

There is a profound non-verbal difference between someone confidently conveying information and someone anxiously trying to convince you of it. Confident individuals "convey." They state their point once, with directness. Their posture is steady, their gestures are purposeful, and their body language is congruent with their message. They are comfortable in stillness and silence, allowing their point to land without needing to fill the space with nervous energy.

Those who lack confidence try to "convince." This insecurity manifests in a flurry of distracting non-verbal signals: they repeat the same point in multiple ways, adopt pleading vocal tones, and betray their anxiety through fidgeting - playing with a ring, shifting their feet, or other preening behaviours that broadcast a desperate need for validation. These actions undermine the message. True presence means being so confident in your position that you can simply state it and be still.

Conclusion: Your Next Move

Non-verbal communication is not an esoteric art; it is a conscious, learnable skill that projects unspoken authority and confidence. These habits - from the way you hold yourself to the deliberateness of your gestures and the pace of your movements - are what separate truly effective leaders from the rest. The most effective leaders do not leave this to chance; they intentionally choreograph their presence. They know that true influence is not accidental - it is designed.

What is the one non-verbal habit you will practise this week to change the way you command a room?